Which one is tougher the quiz or the test?

This has been a horrible week. Great way to start a blog I know.....sure I will keep reading......NOT. This has also been a very strange week. Do you want to know what it feels like? It feels like I have walked down the same flight of stairs forever yet this week I keep forgetting about that bottom step and tripping every time. No do not call for the straight jacket but I told someone today as we were crying saying goodbye that I felt like a big blob of jello. She said I was one of the strongest people she has ever met and I said I am glad you think that because right now I feel like a big blob of jello. I wasn't even going to blog tonight until I hung up from a conversation with my son. He is stressed because he has a test and quiz tomorrow that are both stressing him out. I said which one is worse? And then dawned on me that is exactly my life right now.....a test and a quiz. I have been down this road before you know a quiz.....a review of what you should already know but an indepth examination, well, that is a test. I have had those too. Made "A"s and I have failed miserably. Tomorrow I can't afford to fail either one. And yet no matter how hard I study I know at least one will not be the grade I desire. There is no extra credit, no second chance, no parent/teacher conference just the beginning of something so very horrible. Tomorrow I will undergo two tests.....both will determine my future. Both will determine my course. I don't want to take either one. I have studied for both. I know what to expect and yet I don't want to face them. I don't even want to show up for class. There are moments in life that I wonder what my Lord must think of my struggle...my doubt.....my perplexing spirit. I know the scriptures tell us He knows our beginning and our end. He know every hair on my head but I wonder when He made us so complex and yet frail...detailed and chaotic....He had to realize that we would short circuit. We are one jacked up, yearbook full of screwed up people...I wonder sometimes if He still marvels at His children's insecurity. He must smile at us knowing He has all the answers. He is the teacher with the answer key...HE knows the answers. I don't think He laughs at us in times like this...I think He hurts for us that we didn't study harder, skipped class or made fun of the teacher instead of learning. This blob of jello needs to pass Life 101..I need to look on someone's paper...please let me cheat I beg of you....this test...this quiz...is just too hard or could you at least grade on the curve.