Can you carry my load?

I know my blog has had a sorrowful tone here lately. I try so hard to keep pushing through all the mud and muck just to breathe some nice clean air for a short time. And trust me, sometimes the air is beautiful. A laugh with my beautiful daughter, a hug from my husband, long intelligent conversation with my son, lunch with friends, even just to look at your cellphone that you can't pick up and see someone who cares about you calling.....beautiful breath of life. There are times in my life right now I hear the sheet rock cracking. "Are you o.k.?", I am asked over and over. My response? Over and over....yeah I'm o.k. Don't get me wrong this is not one of those "come down from the ledge" blogs. I know painful and I know dark. I know fatigue and I know confusion. But I don't know hopeless and defeat. There is a difference. I think, especially Christians, believe we are suppose to face life's challenges with big ol' smiles on our face saying "God is love and there ain't nuttin' gonna get me down!" Oh yes, God is love...but babies die, cancer hits family members, stock markets tumble and ruin lives, people cheat and lie..life happens. It is in those moments we choose to look challenges straight in the eye and say "yes you scare me but you won't break me" or you can curl up in the fetal position and live your life in utter defeat. In the past twenty four hours, with my world spinning out of control, I have had three different people to say will you carry my load? Two just thrust their loads upon me but one asked me would I carry it? How could I refuse? I love this person so very much. Why would I not? But what if once you receive this "load" you don't want it. And as you analyze my thoughts please do not "overspiritualize" this and just say "God will help you carry it". I mean absolutely no blasphemy by this at all! He can do just that....my God can allow me to transfer the load given to me to Him. But this time I think He wants me to do more than just carry.....what it is I am suppose to do with this I am not sure. My husband can love me through this. My children can understand. But there is only one who can help me sort through all the mud and muck into that beautiful air that I so long to breath once again.