I Promise It Gets Easier

That is what everyone says. "I promise it gets easier". Really? I just don't see how that can be. Last week, during surgery I needed my Mom. As I am recovering, I need my Mom. Today, celebrating Mother's Day, I desperately, achefully wanted to hear from her. When Christina, my beautiful niece, graduates this Sunday, she will need her Nana. When Scott gets married next year, I will need my Mom. I could go on and on. Yes, I don't cry everyday as I did. And yes, I can actually look at her pictures without crying, well, sometimes. But the truth of the matter is that I miss her more everyday. This was a woman whom I talked to everyday of my life. Such wisdom and such love just spued out of her mouth. She was just a treasure. No one knew me like she did. What was so amazing about her was that she really didn't do anything that special and yet it was miraculous. She didn't buy the kids expensive presents, she didn't have the money to do all that. Yet, everyday....EVERYDAY she would call them to ask about their day. And she would listen. She hated to shop, she wasn't foo foo and she certainly would not be on the cover of a fashion magazine. No she wasn't one of those Moms. No, she played in the dirt. She would play outside with you..who cares if you got sweaty. She didn't shop, but she was the first one who would get your absolute favorite things when you were sick or if it were your birthday. Oh and her hugs. Mom gave you a hug unlike any other. She wasn't skinny and that made her hugs even better. The best thing about my Mom, I was her only girl. Yes, OH YES, she loved her daughter in law like her own and there was nothing like her grandbaby girls. But I was her daughter. She had every one of my appointments written down. She was so intimate in the details of my life. Not intrusive (and trust me at this point I would love the intrusion). No, not intrusive....involving...interested..attached. I miss her terribly. Especially on this day we celebrate our Moms. Oh, I do celebrate her and miss her so bad. I know she is in that "much better place" everyone talks about. I know she is worshiping my Lord. I know she is in heaven. I know she is in paradise. And I know she is alive and well. And one day I will see her again. But today, I will not. I love you Momma and your daughter misses you so terribly.