Rockband, caberet and alot of nonsense

My sweet Aunt said please let us know about Christmas Eve! There is a weird atmosphere around Mom that is almost palable. I have told my Mom that I needed to get real for a moment in my blog and I had her blessing. You know on those sitcoms when someone is hooked up to lifesupport and the entire family is standing around the bed just waiting on the person to take their last breath. That is how my Mom feels all the time. Mom, what are you doing? Mom, what can I get you? Mom, SIT DOWN, we will get that for you? Mom, Mom are you o.k.? Why are breathing like that? Yes, the doctors have not given her much time but she is still alive! I feel like I am constantly her referee for living. (whistle blowing.....two yards penalty for too many questions of her...back off). I know everyone means well and love her so much. But sometimes it feels we are "death" watch instead of allowing her to live every moment to the fullest. That brings me to Christmas Eve. I decided to ball my eyes out before she arrived......Check!...got that over with. Then I decided no matter what I would not let this evening turn to sorrow. SHE made sure of that! My sweet niece Christina who is a gorgeous Senior in high school this year decided to play a few Christmas songs for Nana on the keys! She is so talented. Mom just smiled and soaked up every moment. Well, then my brother Steve decided it was his turn! He can't play ANYTHING but that didn't stop him. We heard the most unusal versions of Christmas songs. But boy did we laugh. I mean gut splitting, tears streaming, laugh out loud laughter. THENNNNN yours truly decided to buy a few uh things for our dirty santa swap. Our poor brother Tony opened every "female" gift in the bunch...then his bald self opened the hair brush! But finally he got the right one when he opened the MID!!! If you don't know what a MID is well...email me and I will be glad to tell you! I thought I was going to hit the floor laughing! What a good sport! And then we broke out the Rockband while Mom took all the girls into a room and we talked about everything dating, husbands, boyfriends (for those of not married), love, sex, life, marriage and the pursuit of happiness. Young and old didn't get bored or fall asleep...we talked and talked. As I said by my previous blog, Mom was pretty insistent about who entered that room! Those MEN! Lots of food (Zoey appreciated every mishap..she was a canine vaccum). At the end of the evening, I was exhausted and full. Yes full of food, but full of Christmas, love, family and just an overwhelming sense of connection. These people are mine! We will be forever connected and I am so glad. Yes, this is my family. My brother Tony works long tough hours with his hands to support his family. He can read my mind and has the heart of a King. Debbie works with children and it is exactly what she needs to do. She takes care of even those who are cruel to her. Her heart is huge! What a servant! Johnathan is a stud and loves life LOUD..cars, games and girls! He is so funny. Christopher is a helper...he loves to help. He stayed in the kitchen with me helping me clean up and he loves hugs. He wants you to know how much he loves you. Christina is the thinker and so creative like her father. She is beautiful and has grown into a very assured young woman. She wants to teach. She doesn't care how much trouble for so little money...it is her dream. There is Michael, the pursuer. Still searching but doesn't mind the challenge. He wants to be involved and takes care of his family. Steve the always comedian! He can make you laugh in the toughest situations. I have to say I always look at Steve as the baby....but when I saw him taking care of Dad so selflessly I told Jeff I have a new respect for him as a man! Thank you Steven! And then there is my own of course. I could type a book over Scott and his absolute respect, genuine care for those he loves. It is like he is years older than he is. Megan whose heart is full. She needs to know you are alright and won't stop until you are. They both GET it. They both are just the joy of my heart. Then of course there is my Jeff. Jeff is the kindest most selfless man I have ever met. He is so thoughtful. He can still my breath when he takes my hand and can stir my very soul when he can look at me like he does and I don't have to say a word. HE just knows. I am blessed beyond anything I can possible attempt to say. It all started of course from Jim and Doris Graves. My Mom and my Dad whose sacrificially loved us and through them, I have all I just stated. What a family! How was our Christmas Eve with my Mom. Oh we lived....cancer did not take a thing away from that evening!